WEEK #2: MARRIAGE TRENDS & DIVORCE

I feel blessed to have grown up in a home with both a mother and a father who loved their children, but who also loved one another and put their marriage first.  

 On one occasion as a young child, after my dad had told me that he loved me I asked him “Do you love me more than you love mom?”  I remember being sure he would say “Of course!” and was taken by surprise when he didn’t skip a beat in answering my question with “No, I love your mother more than anybody in the world.” 

 The more I have thought back on this experience I am grateful for his answer.  I grew up knowing without a doubt that my father loved my mother and that my mother loved my father.  Their marriage was not always perfect, no marriage is, but I saw my mother and father put each other first and work hard everyday to nurture their relationship.  This knowledge was a constant in my life and with it came a sense of security.  I count this as one of my greatest blessing in my life and am so grateful for their continued example of what a marriage should be.

In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, a document issued in 1995 by the president of the LDS church President Gordon B. Hinckley, it states “The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.”  

The Family: A Proclamation to the World can be found at:

https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng&old=true

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY TRENDS

In The State of our Unions: Marriage in America, published in 2012, it states that “marriage trends in recent decades indicate that Americans have become less likely to marry, and the most recent data show that the marriage rate in the United States continues to decline” and continues on to give the statistic that “for the average couple marrying for the first time in recent years, the lifetime probability of divorce or separation now falls between 40 and 50 percent.”

Paul R. Amato in his article The Impact of Family Formation Change on the Cognitive, Social, and Emotional Well-Being of the Next Generation addresses another trend being seen regarding families.  Amato stated that “perhaps the most profound change in the American family over the past four decades has been the decline in the share of children growing up in household with both biological parents.” 

WHAT DO THESE TRENDS MEAN FOR CHILDREN?

Why are these trends of such concern?  What does the rise in divorce mean for children?

For children, divorce means that they no longer get to grow up with both of their parents in the same home, and for many the influence of one of their parents decreases. 

 Paul R. Amato said that “research clearly demonstrates that children growing up with two continuously married parents are less likely than other children to experience a wide range of cognitive, emotional, and social problems, not only during childhood, but also in adulthood.”

Take a look at this projections shared by Amato:

·          Increasing the share of adolescents in 2 parent families to the 1960 level suggests that nearly 750,000 fewer children would repeat a grade.

        Increasing  marital stability to its 1980 level would result in…

·         Nearly 500,000 fewer children suspended from school

·         About 200,000 fewer children engaging in delinquency or violence

·         250,000 fewer children receiving therapy

·         About 250,000 fewer smokers

·         About 80,000 fewer children thinking about suicide

·         About 28,000 fewer children attempting suicide. 

 

WHAT CAN WE DO?

As advocates of the family we need to not only support the institution of marriage in our own communities but we also need to encourage and support our government in emphasizing the importance of marriage and children being raised by their biological parents.

***It is important to point out that in most situations marriage is worth working through and that children thrive being in a home with both their mother and their father.  That being said, there are certain situations where this is not possible and when for circumstances out of their control individual needs to end the marriage.  In these situations, I truly believe that we have a loving Heavenly Father who is there to help fill in the gaps when a parent/parents are raising their children outside of a marriage.

References:

Amato, P.R. (2005). The impact of family formation change on the cognitive, social and emotional well-    being on the next generation. Marriage and Child Wellbeing (15) 75-96

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (1995). The family: a proclamation to the world. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org

The National Marriage Project (2012). The state of our unions.